I was walking across a bridge ...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.  So I ran over and said 'Stop!  don't do it!'  'Why shouldn't I?'  he said.  I said, 'Well, there's so much to live for!'  He said, 'Like what?'  I said, 'Well...are you religious or atheist?'  He said, 'Religious.'  I said, 'Me too!  Are you Christian or  Buddhist?'  He said, 'Christian.'  I said, 'Me too!  Are you Catholic or Protestant?'  He said, 'Protestant.'  I said, 'Me too!  Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?'  He said, 'Baptist!'  I said, 'Wow!  Me too!  Are you Baptist church of god or Baptist church of the lord?'  He said, 'Baptist church of god!'  I said, 'Me too!  Are you original Baptist church of god, or are you reformed Baptist church of god?'  He said, 'Reformed Baptist church of god!'  I said, 'Me too!  Are you reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?'  He said, 'Reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!'  I said, 'Die, heretic scum,' and pushed him off.

~Emo Phillips~