10 Status Message of the Day

will stop drinking when captain morgan puts his foot down.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a weak man all day. Wearing a backpack & a turtleneck is lke being strangled by a weak man as a dwarf tries to pull you down.

Whenever I'm driving, and someone lets me go in front of them, I always feel the need to go as fast as possible, so they don't regret their decision. I won't let you down, Mr. Mercedes Man, I won't let you down.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

A husband asks: Why do you weep and snuffle over a TV program and the imaginary sadness of people you have never met? Wife: For the same reason you scream and yell when a man you don�t know makes a touchdown.

Pls work on your lyrics Rihanna.. B'coz men hate it when you say the same things again and again. No wonder you got hit by Chris Brown.

Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.

hasn't had sex since the last time you were out of town.

Over/Under - Brett Farve: 70 sexting messages to NY woman while in town.

I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.

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