10 Status Message of the Day

frowning in your douchebaggy direction.

I'm sorry miss, but if you didn't want your melons squeezed than you shouldn't work in produce section.

People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.

Your bumper sticker claiming, "My Chocolate Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" appears to be false. I've never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection.

heavily medicated for your protection.

Facebook saved me from a terrifying keeping-my-thoughts-to-myself addiction.

Recent studies show that??f??a??c??e??b??o??o??k????-- can be very effective in dealing with cases of chronic boredom. Use with caution - too much may lead to an addiction.

found a dead lizard on the back porch...apparently, a reptile dysfunction.

Income tax-time is when you test your powers of deduction.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

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