10 Status Message of the Day

if I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked me for change...ide still say no.

thought john and kate plus eight was a #####.

wants to Google her Myspace while she Twitters my Yahoo.

Bucket list #17 - boxing a kangaroo.

Don't you hate it when all this hot, humid weather makes your nut sack look like batwings when they stick to your thighs? That's what Lady Ga Ga told me, too.

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

Just ran into my ex at the store. He has a wonderful new girlfriend now. Much better than I ever was. So I told him I had half a sandwich in my car and did she want those leftovers, too.

Try to keep your mind out of the gutter. Your body, too.

thinks living well may be the best revenge... but rubbing your ass all over someone's cell phone is pretty good too.

Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro is reportedly a huge fan of President Obama and thinks he'd doing a great job. Boy, Obama hasn't had PR this good since the Rev. Wright was campaigning for him. Maybe he can get Gaddafi to say something nice too.

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