10 Status Message of the Day

It's not even a booty call, it's a drive by... hit it and go.

I go where I please...and I please where I go.

Carry yourself like a queen and you'll attract a king. Carry yourself like a hoe and see how far you'll go.

I'm sorry,Mr. Wasp,but I had to kill you. You're too stupid to see my kitchen window and kept smacking into it. And too stupid to see me trying to help you. Stupidity isn't acceptable in my household. You had to go.

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, I knew it was time to go.

I bought a gps so my wife would quit telling which direction to take...now I have two women telling where to go.

Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go.

And as another Christmas ends my mind drifts and once again, I'm thinking like a six year old. Only 364 days to go.

Hamsters are really stupid, but, I'm the girl spending money to keep one housed and fed, so, there you go.

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.

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