10 Status Message of the Day

My internet is so slow, it would be faster to just drive to Google's headquarters and ask them this sh!t in person.

If everyday were payday, my wife would be such a nicer person.

Nothing brings two people together like the mutual hatred of another person.

They say that three out of four Americans have a mental illness of some kind. Look at three of your friends. If they seem okay,then you're that person.

Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person.

Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I'm so glad I'm not a crazy person.

school and life are similar in a way. In school, you learn a lesson and then take a test. In life, you come across a test that teaches you a lesson.

Forget the damn past. Remember the lesson.

Just stuck Luke Skywalker in a dead Ton Ton.

That didn't take long: one of the Chilean miners is already cheating on Jennifer Aniston.

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