10 Status Message of the Day

Rule #1 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down.

The main problem with a high maintenance woman is that the upkeep costs never go down.

In the game of Life, everybody is bald and rides with the top down.

I asked my psychiatrist the other day if she thought I was crazy. She said, "No", so I put the flamethrower down.

saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.

I believe Adam Lambert would hold one in his jaw until the swelling goes down.

Unlike my girlfriend Facebook goes down.

had the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

once read a book about anti-gravity. I just couldn't put it down.

Alright, Captain Morgan, I'll make you a deal....I'll stop drinking when you put your foot down.

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