10 Status Message of the Day

millions of my potential children died on your sisters face last night!!

thinks if I would have known I was going to be this thirsty this morning I would have drank more last night!!

My buddy Jim has an impressive New Year's resolution. No more sex, no beer, no football, no nights out with the guys and no looking at other women. He's getting married tonight!!

always right and never wrong. The only time I thought I was wrong was when I thought I was wrong but I wasn't - I was right!!

thinks the biggest similarity between a Gynaecologist and a Pizza delivery boy is that they both can smell what's in the box.. however they can't sample it!!

So stick that in your juice box & suck it!!

Don't you hate that when it rains people who has an umbrella keep walking underneath the awnings, and let people who doesn't have one get wet? Ugh! I just want to grab the umbrella and put a hole in it!!

Facebook needs a *LOVE* button... I'd hit it!!

IDK what it is about gum, but I suddenly feel so much sassier when I chew it!!

See,,, I told you it would fit!!

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