10 Status Message of the Day

Facebook has been down for 2 hours. The apocalypse has begun.

My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.

Ok I've had enough of this winter crap. I say we plot now to take out the groundhog. I got a shotgun.

I don't know what the big deal is. Rosa Parks never called shotgun.

The cops will just throw you in the back of the squad car like they didn't even hear you call shotgun.

The 1960's were when hallucinogenic drugs were really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the shows then like The Flying Nun.

wish my boobs wouldn't slap my face while I run.

If I was running from the law (literally), I�d much rather be running from an athletic cop than a fat cop because an athletic cop will only tackle me if he catches me, a fat cop will shoot me just so he doesn�t have to run.

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet smell and their noses run.

remember the police are sort of like dogs, they usually don't chase you unless you run.

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