10 Status Message of the Day

Learn from the past, live for today, look for tomorrow, take a nap this afternoon.

Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.

I may wear my heart on my sleeve but I'm changing that shirt soon.

I don't know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think of romance,the last thing I think of is a short,chubby child coming at me with a weapon.

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.

Oprah sister is the new Pat; Pat is the new Stedman and Stedman is the new Tampon.

Seriously? The iPad? I'll just wait till they come out with a sleeker version... the iTampon.

knows it is a sure sign of Autumn, when the Tea Party Witch, Christine O'Donnell from Delaware, makes chowder in her cauldron.

just heard that despite the universal success of the iPod and the iPhone; Apple will be releasing their next gadget EXCLUSIVELY for women... It will be called the iRon.

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