10 Status Message of the Day

Dont sh!t where you eat...A friendly reminder brought to you by The Stop Being A Dumb@ss Association.

Unless you're a steaming hot girl, most people don't really care how your day went. If it doesn't relate to them, then they don't wanna read about it. A friendly Facebook reminder of the STFU Association.

thinks single-ply toilet paper should be a human rights violation.

Russia declared Wednesday a National Day of Conception to stimulate the birth rate. Any couple who gives birth nine months form now will win money and prizes. This is what countries without a Mexican border have to do to increase their population.

We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. Thanks to all who served and are still serving our nation.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Tomorrow, I�m gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

thinks a GPS should just say warm...warmer...no idiot - cold...warmer...hot...ur frickin on FIRE! You have arrived at your destination.

would so kill herself if she believed in reincarnation.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

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