10 Status Message of the Day

So, I've been told hard work is the key to success, but I'm not above picking a lock every now and then.

Kindergarten class reunion? No way, man. Ive put on like, a hundred and fifty pounds since then.

Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

Jersey Shore is on tonight? I guess I need to figure out how to get these Valtrex into my DirecTV box then.

A man in Washington D.C. was apprehended by the Secret Service for taking off his clothes and jogging naked near the White House. In related news, this is probably the last time Joe Biden ever takes Ambien.

Do you know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

Words of wisdom: Just be yourself, everyone else is taken.

Do you know why they call it "PMS?" Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

one reason they call it PMS is that Mad Cow disease was already taken.

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