10 Status Message of the Day

If you don't like me, leave a message. If I don't get back to you, don't worry.. its probably because i'm too busy giving a damn.

Some days there just isn't enough give-a-damn.

It wouldn't be a normal Sunday on the couch watching the Baltimore/Indianapolis game without the Erectile Dysfunction commercial. 4 hours? Goddamn.

I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

wonders what Pat Robertson will blame the Chile earthquake on.

I was watching some trailers at my local cinema when to my surprise a movie came on.

Feeling a little groggy today. I think my check-engine light has come on.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

you're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

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