10 Status Message of the Day

The only reason I'd want to be both rich and famous is so that I can arrange dates with pretentious gold-diggers that are aware of my wealth and status -- then pick them up for our date in a beat-up, lime green Kia Rio and see their reaction.

Now With Extra Pulp, Squeezed Fresh For Your Statusfaction.

the limit of the variable approaching perfection.

So, I read today that NASCAR is getting fuel injection.... I also learned that when they hit 88 mph the new cars travel through time back to 1985, when the rest of us had fuel injection.

completely unaware that October was Vagina Awareness Month. I thought all the twats on TV were due to the upcoming election.

wondering why when the best actors are chosen by actors it is called the Oscars, but when the best actors are chosen by regular people it is called an election.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

I finally got around to reading the story of the headless horseman.Up until now I always thought the story was about a horse rider that couldn't get a erection.

Ok, slow down people. We're starting to evolve in the wrong direction.

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.

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