10 Status Message of the Day

the only blizzard I want to see is from Dairy Queen.

It must be impossible to stand out as a prostitute working on Halloween.

wondering whether Lady Gaga dresses up like a normal person when it's halloween.

Political speeches are like bull horns. A point here. A point there. And a lot of bull in between.

If you ever want to see a woman crying or screaming, just turn on oxygen.

Women are like refrigerators; cold on the inside, you always want to put your meat in them, and they all belong in the kitchen.

Pie can�t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it�s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody�s drunk in the kitchen.

I told my wife I wanted breakfast in bed in the morning. She said go sleep in the kitchen.

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

Canada still up there? Somebody really should check now and then.

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