10 Status Message of the Day

out joyriding in your car.

don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.

I told you officer, I cut the a** out of the gorilla suit because they don't sell baboon costumes. No, I don't know who crapped on your car.

Travel Tip: When passing through a bad part of town, and the locals ask what hood you represent, it's probably not a good idea to yell out "FARMVILLE BIIAAATCH," and then start "crop" walkin' to your car.

Finally warm enough to wash Old Man winters "money shot" off my car.

just scraped 3 inches of "Mostly Cloudy" off my car.

I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets;I've taken the windscreen wipers off my car.

A pedestrian just hit me and went under my car.

Everyone's days are numbered. It's called a calendar.

First 5 people to like this shall receive a hand crafted statue of me wrestling an invisible bear.

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