10 Status Message of the Day

Today In the Facebook Stock Market, 'Happy Easter' status updates are up 200%, 'Stupid Group Invitations' are up 50%, 'Friendship Bonding' plummets and 'Exaggerations' are down 3.40 pts on the Nasdaq.

i suppose those highway signs that read "Speed enforced by aircraft" has a more serious meaning in Iraq.

The only thing I will help you with on Farmville is a slaughterhouse...lemme know when you're ready for a BBQ.

The barman says "we don't serve time travellers in here". A time traveller walks into a bar.

I like "glass half full" type of people. Unless they're working behind the bar.

For once I would like to bring sexy back....from the bar.

New Years Eve ? one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early. I just hope I'll be sober enought to drive from work to the bar.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar.

as confused as a hungry infant in a topless bar.

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