10 Status Message of the Day

For all of you out there you are so infatuated with Olympic Curling, be sure to check your local listings for the Paint Drying World Championships later this year.

just passed a holiday cocaine drug bust. It looks like some people are gonna be denied a white Christmas this year.

Go ahead, try and hang them with care and see if that holds. I'm hanging my stockings with tacks this year.

A huge mass of slimy ooze is moving towards New Orleans. I'm confused as I didn't think the Eagles played the Saints this year.

Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.

the one who told him that you had a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that he had in February of last year.

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

The dude who invented the high-five must've been left hangin like 90 percent of the time that first year.

Got a flannel sweater for the 9th year in a row. Thanks mom! Can't wait to see what I get next year.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

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