You know, sometimes a man just...

You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires.  Which is why God invented dental floss.

~Author Unknown~

You don't have to brush your t...

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep.

~Author Unknown~

We do have a zeal for laughter...

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

~Joseph Heller~

Tooth decay was a perennial na...

Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold.

~Claudia Wallis~

Too many of today's children h...

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals.

~Unknown high school principal~

There are two things in life t...

There are two things in life that a sage must preserve at every sacrifice, the coats of his stomach and the enamel of his teeth.  Some evils admit of consolations, but there are no comforters for dyspepsia and the toothache.

~Henry Lytton Bulwer~

The tongue is ever turning to ...

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth.

~Thomas Fuller~

The man with a toothache think...

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

~George Bernard Shaw~

Some tortures are physical And...

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental

~ Ogden Nash~

Some old women and men grow bi...

Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.

~George D. Prentice~

If suffering brought wisdom, t...

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas.

~Mason Cooley~

If a patient cannot clean his ...

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him.

~Martin H. Fischer~

I'm always amazed to hear of a...

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records.  What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

~Paul Merton~

I had very good dentures once....

I had very good dentures once.  Some magnificent gold work.  It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate.

~Graham Greene~

I find that most men would rat...

I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five.

~Martin H. Fischer~

For there was never yet philos...

For there was never yet philosopher That could endure the toothache patiently.

~William Shakespeare~

Every tooth in a man's head is...

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond.

~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605~

Even pearls are dark before th...

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

~William R. Alger~

Dentist: a prestidigitat...

Dentist:  a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

~Ambrose Bierce~

An aching tooth is better out ...

An aching tooth is better out than in. To lose a rotting member is a gain

~ Richard Baxter, Poetical Fragments~