Zen martini: A martini w...

Zen martini:  A martini with no vermouth at all.  And no gin, either.

~P.J. O'Rourke~

Your body is a temple, but kee...

Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.

~Author Unknown~

What fools indeed we morals ar...

What fools indeed we morals are To lavish care upon a Car, With ne'er a bit of time to see About our own machinery

~ John Kendrick Bangs~

The speedway ends at the cemet...

The speedway ends at the cemetery.

~Author Unknown~

The best car safety device is ...

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

~Dudley Moore~

Road sense is the offspring of...

Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.

~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren, 1938~

Recklessness is a species of c...

Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways.

~Marlen E. Pew~

One reason I don't drink is th...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

~Lady Astor~

One reason I don't drink is th...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

~Lady Astor~

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemb...

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker~

If you must drink and drive, d...

If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.

~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker~

If you drink, don't drive.&#16...

If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.

~Dean Martin~

If four or five guys tell you ...

If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.

~Joseph Schenck~

How is education supposed to m...

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

~Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Homer~

Drinking and driving: th...

Drinking and driving:  there are stupider things, but it's a very short list.

~Author Unknown~

Drink the first. Sip the...

Drink the first.  Sip the second slowly.  Skip the third.

~Knute Rockne~

Automobiles are not ferocious....

Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared.

~Robbins B. Stoeckel~

A tree never hits an automobil...

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.

~American Proverb~